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MARRIAGE -- HISTORY OF:

The word marriage comes form the Latin, maritare, from maritus meaning husband. In the natural history sense, marriage may be defined as a more or less durable union between one or more husbands and one or more wives, sanctioned by society and lasting until after the birth and rearing of offspring. In the legal sense, marriage is a contract between one or more males and one or more females for the establishment of a family.

Origin and Social Function of Marriage.—Some scholars are inclined to trace the origin of marriage to pairing arrangement of animals below man. Studies reveal that a more or less permanent association between one or more males and one or more females is common among birds and higher mammals. It is especially characteristic of the anthropoid apes, with the association of the chimpanzee — being monogamous and durable. These more or less permanent associations between other than human animals are not marriages, for animals have no society to sanction them. Marriage involves social sanctions, and these social sanctions are in the customs and traditions of the group. The customs and traditions of any form of marriage arise in the same way as other types of customs and traditions. Their origins for the most part, are lost in the antiquity of the past.

The primary function of marriage is to regulate the relations between the sexes. In most societies a more or less permanent union between one or more of the males and one or more females is valued as a secure situation in which children can be reared.

Practically all forms of marriage are found, if one includes all societies and all historical times. While the original form of marriage is lost in the oblivion of the pre historical period, it is safe to say that during historical times some form of marriage has been present in all societies. The main forms of marriage are polygamy, polyandry, and monogamy.

Polygamy.—The union of one husband and two or more wives is known as polygamy. Popularly this is generally called polygamy, but this is incorrect for polygamy means multiple mates and applies to both polygyny and polyandry.

In general, polygyny presupposes a considerable accumulation of wealth and is therefore very rarely practiced. It seems to have been an accompaniment of the development of a predominantly militant life and of slavery. Where polygyny is practiced, therefore, it is confined largely to the wealthy and the ruling classes, as only these can afford the luxury of having more than one wife. Polygyny is practiced today in some countries, but only by a very small percent of the population.
The remainder practices monogamy, for the number of males and females in a given population under normal conditions is relatively equal, and consequently the majority of marriages are necessarily monogamous. Polygyny, as has been indicated, can be traced to two main factors: military and economic activities. In early warfare, such as that of the American Indians, it was a common practice to kill the men and carry off the women for secondary wives. Extra wives meant not only an outward sign of a man's wealth, but a means of increasing the wealth that a man already had.
For example, among the Blackfoot Indians polygyny, which had been practiced in a limited way by chiefs and other influential persons, was greatly expanded when the fur trade changed from beaver to buffalo robes. Women almost exclusively tanned buffalo skins, and, consequently, the enlarged market for these led to a need for more female workers, and this need was met by getting more wives.
The practice of polygyny has been widespread among practically all people, even though the numbers involved have been small. Where it lacked legal sanction it frequently existed in the more or less illegal form of concubinage (q.v.) , such as among the Chinese up to the beginning of the 20th century. In many cases it has received the explicit sanction of religion as in the cases of Mohammedanism and Mormonism. But among all people it has tended to die out. This has been due in large part to the diffusion of Western European culture and particularly to the spread of Christianity. The ethical views of Christianity have been against other, forms of marriage than monogamy.
Polyandry.— The union of one woman with several men is a rare form of marriage found practically only in Tibet and among some of the mountain tribes of India, though within historic times it existed in Arabia. Apparently polyandry has never been a wide-spread form of marriage.
There is no reason for supposing, as did John Ferguson McLennan, that in primitive times it was universal. On the contrary, it seems to exist only under certain economic and social conditions.
Thus the difficulty of one man supporting a family has in the barren regions of Tibet led to the development of polyandry. In the same region the seems to be a scarcity of women, which also favored the practice of polyandry. The most common form of polyandry is the fraternal or Tibetan form, in which a group brothers have a common wife, the oldest brother being the head of the household and the putative father of all the children. Among the Nairs of India, however, a non-fraternal form of polyandry exists.
Polyandry generally does not mean that woman has the privilege of having more than husband. It means that several men combine share one wife. This is the case in Tibet what is used as a way of keeping the land intact and passing it on to the next generation.
Polyandry, in contrast to polygyny, has developed among the lower social strata. This the case of both Tibetans and Marquesans with the poor may be able to afford but one wife two or more brothers. Thus they are able to establish a single conjugal group maintained in' interests of the wife's children.

Monogamy.— Polygyny and polyandry, as we have seen, always have been exceptional form of marriage. The prevalent form of marriage an all people today, and probably among people all times, has been some form of monogamy, or union of one man and one woman. This has been so by necessity, for under normal conditions the number of males and females in any given society is relatively equal. Economic conditions have rarely made it possible to support more than one wife and her children. Besides such biological and economic reasons for the existence of monogamy, it appears to be more favorable to the care and upbringing of children. Under monogamy both the husband and wife commonly unite in care and training of the child.
In many countries where monogamy is socially sanctioned and legal form of marriage, there exists successive polygyny and polyandry which is permitted by the device of divorce. This is the case in the United States, where two or three husbands or wives in a lifetime is not exceptional. While this is legal, it does violate the principle of monogamy.

The Marriage Ceremony. — Among all people, both pre literate (those who have no written language) and literate, legal marriage is usual accompanied by some form of ceremony which presses the sanction of the group upon the union. This ceremony is usually of ritualistic or religious character; in a few peoples it is apparently purely social. Betrothal (q.v.) is also frequently an occasion for some sort of religious or social ceremony.
Freedom of Choice in Marriage. — Edward A. Westermarck presents considerable evidence to show that among preliterate people marriage was originally based on the mutual attraction and consent of the parties. Almost always the male was the wooer, but the female, by having the right to accept or reject a lover, played the decisive role in mate selection. In preliterate societies, the role of wife capture and wife purchase was regarded as exceptional and of minor importance. Thus it can be assumed that marriage began in free choice, and that wife capture and wife purchase were later developments.
By free choice we do not mean that it was necessarily free choice by individuals. The parental family often either chose the mate son or daughter or was a dominant factor in mate selection. This, of course, is the way it is ay in most western European countries.

Marriage by Capture and by Purchase. — Among predatory and warlike tribes marriage by capture is often common; indeed, on account of "social and military honor attached to wife capture, it sometimes comes to be the favorite form of marriage. We know of no people, however, among whom wives are regularly captured. Manifestly such a social state would be practically impossible, even though wife capture was socially favored.
The cave man probably wrested his mate from a neighbor on the basis of brute strength and retained her by physical power. The relationship between the cave man and his mate was certainly regulated by formal law. Little by little, as tribes and clans developed, changes in wife capture occurred. Raiding and capturing wives from other clans took the place of capturing. one’s neighbor’s wife or daughter. The practice of “standing up" with the bride and groom evolved out of the practice of wife capture. After a mate had been seized, the friends of the bridegroom stood by to ward off the enraged kinfolk of the bride. Even in the early part of the 20th century, wedding guests in south Russia engaged in mock fights in which friends of the bride attacked those of the groom. When harmony was restored after this symbolic battle, the entire company proceeded with the service. The ring, although it has acquired a highly dignified symbolic character today, in early times was used to tie up a girl who had been captured. It was placed around her ankle or above her knee, and prevented her from escaping. In Africa the ring is placed around the neck in some tribes, and in others, through the nose. But wherever placed, the ring is ,supposed to make the groom sure of the bride. Incidentally, it is a growing custom in western European and American countries for both the husband and the wife to wear a ring. This is a reflection of the gradual emancipation of women and the general movement away from the patriarchal marriage to the companionship form.
Much more common than wife capture, but at a much later stage of cultural development, was wife purchase. This occurred particularly in preliterate societies with the development of slavery and the idea of property in persons. It was particularly instrumental in developing polygyny and the patriarchal form of the family. Many survivals of wife purchase exist among even relatively contemporary peoples.
The prospective husband paid for the privilege of carrying his bride away. Sometimes the abduction came first, the purchase price subsequently being levied to atone for the “offense” and disguised as a fine. In some instances, as under very early Roman law, the woman was adopted;
she then came under the "fatherly" power of the husband, and theoretically became his daughter.
In all cases the wife became the property of her husband and, at the worst, she was his drudge or slave. Still the actual condition of the wife was not so hard as might be implied from her legal status, or lack of it, The injunction to obey the father was coupled with the injunction to honor the mother.
In the great Oriental monarchies of antiquity marriages were undisguisedly commercial transactions. Even then the bought wife of a citizen of Babylon was the manager of her husband's house, consulted with him in serious matters of business and even in affairs of state if he happened to be a public official.
The contractual or purchase marriage became symbolic and dramatic. The pledge given by the wooer to bind the bargain might originally have been a cow (domestic animals were real money;
cattle or chattels and pecunias were words of identical meaning). This pledge eventual1y was represented by a gift to the bride — a bracelet, jewel, or other token. Sometimes a wooer made payment in personal services as in the Biblical story which relates how Jacob tended Laban's sheep for seven years in order to purchase Rachel. The bride usually received from her father a dowry or dos, which passed to the husband and remained under his control during the duration of the marriage. Among the Semites and Orientals marriage was terminated by divorce at the will of the husband. Among the early Romans marriage could be concluded at the will of the wife's father or by mutual consent. In either case the bride's dowry was returned.

Child Marriage.— Another result of wife capture and wife purchase among some peoples was the practice which we know as child marriage, that is, the uniting in formal marriage of children under 15 years of age, usually the marriage of a girl under 15 with a much older man. It developed, especially in India, under the influence of the caste system and the custom of wife purchase. More than one half of the total female population of India were married before 15 years of age, sometimes while they were mere infants. In the western provinces of India the girl remained at home with her parents until sexual maturity was reached; but in Bengal, girls commenced their married life at the age of nine years. The practice continues, as it is supported by the higher as well as by the lower Hindu castes.

Exogamy and Endogamy.— Exogamy is defined as marriage outside the group and endogamy as marriage within the group. Among practically all peoples, custom forbids the marriage of very near kin. A limited number of preliterate people do not forbid the marriage of brothers and sisters, but all view with disapproval sexual relations between parents and children. Sexual relations between brothers and sisters and parents and children are known as incest. Indeed, people not only condemn sexual relations between members of the immediate family but forbid it between other less related persons. In preliterate societies marriage between the same clan or totem group is not infrequently forbidden.
Exogamy and endogamy are almost always correlated, in that marriage outside an immediate group implies marriage within another specified group. Thus in the clan or totemic stage of social organization, which existed among most of the North American Indians at the time of their discovery, a man must take a wife outside of his clan or totem-kin group, but usually must marry within his tribe or related tribes.
The causes of such customs of exogamy and endogamy have been much debated. McLennan held that exogamy was the outgrowth of the custom of female infanticide, but there is little or no evidence in support of such a theory. Westermarck's explanation was that exogamy arose from the extension to the whole clan of the natural instinct of aversion to incest. It may be pointed out, however, that exogamy and endogamy are not customs peculiar to preliterate people. Similar rules are found regarding forbidden degrees of relationship among contemporary people. While there is no evidence to support the view that there is a natural aversion to incest, some evidence exists that there is an attraction between persons of the opposite sex who are relatively strange and unfamiliar. Among all peoples this naturally leads to marriage outside the close social group; and. among preliterate people all members of a clan are regarded as practically the same as very near relatives.

Marriage Among the European Peoples. — Among the early Aryan people of Europe marriage was universally regarded, so far as we can discover, as a religious bond, since their family life was based upon ancestor worship. This early Aryan view of marriage gave way in later Rome to the view that marriage was a private contract to be made and dissolved by the parties at their pleasure. The early Christian Church combated this view of the marriage relation and sought to restore the view that marriage was a religious bond, which it finally did by making marriage one of the sacraments of the church. It was forced, however, still to recognize that consent or contract was the essential means of entering the marriage relation. “Consent marriages” continued to be recognized, therefore, though they could not be broken except through the authority of the church.
The Protestant reformers put forth the idea that marriage was a civil relation, rather than a religious bond or sacrament, to be created by the state and broken by the state. In reaction to this view the Roman Catholic Council of Trent in 1563 declared that a valid marriage could only be created by the church and only annulled by the church. This still remains the Roman Catholic view of marriage. The view that marriage is a private contract, to be created and broken by individuals as any other contract, has shown a tendency to revive in modern nations among many elements of their population. The present problem of the family, therefore, centers more about the question of divorce and the toleration of other forms of marriage than that of permanent marriage.
The two theories of marriage. — as (1) a sacrament plus a permanent civil contract, and (2) as a civil contract as long as the contracting parties desire — are held side by side by different elements of the populations of modern nations. While one cannot be sure which form of competing theory of marriage will survive and be compatible with the standards of the future, the current trend appears to be toward the view that marriage is a contract like any other civil contract. Consequently, its permanence depends on the desires of the contracting parties.

Bibliography.-Westermarck, Edward A., The History of Human Marriage (London 1891); 3d ed. (London 1901); Howard, George E., History of Matrimonial Institutions, 3 vols. (Chicago 1904); Thomas, William 1., Primitive Behavior (New York 1937); Burgess, E. W., and Locke, H. J., The Family, 2d ed. (New York 1953).

The source for this information is the Encyclopedia Americana. This article is from Volume 18 and is contributed by HARVEY J. LOCKE and JAMES A. PETERSON, Department of Sociology, University of Southern California.

GAY MARRIAGE/CIVIL UNIONS

The most controversial issue in the family in the 21st century continues to be the issue of homosexuality and whether or not gay marriages/civil unions should be legalized by the state and religious organizations. A good web site which discusses this issues can be found at:

http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm

Gay marriage would mean forcing businesses to provide benefits to same-sex couples on the same basis as opposite-sex couples. While this may or may not be true (based primarily on state labor laws), the reality is that many businesses already do offer these benefits to gay couples, and for sound business reasons. And experience has shown that when they do, the effect on their costs for offering these benefits is minimal - very rarely does the cost of benefits offered to gay couples cause the business' benefits costs to rise by more than 1.5%. This trivial cost is usually far more than offset by the fact that the company is seen as being progressive for having offered these benefits - making its stock much more attractive to socially progressive mutual funds and rights-conscious pension funds and individual investors, and thus increasing upwards pressure on its price. This is why so many corporations, including most of the Fortune 500, already offer these benefits without being required to do so - it's just good business sense.

Gay marriage would force churches to marry gay couples when they have a moral objection to doing so. This argument, usually advanced by churches that oppose gay marriage, is simply not true. There is nothing in any marriage law, existing or proposed, anywhere in the United States, that does or would have the effect of requiring any church to marry any couple they do not wish to marry. Churches already can refuse any couple they wish, and for any reason that suits them, which many often do, and that would not change. Some churches continue to refuse to marry interracial couples, others inter religious couples, and a few refuse couples with large age disparities and for numerous other reasons. Gay marriage would not change any church's right to refuse to sanctify any marriage entirely as they wish - it would simply offer churches the opportunity to legally marry gay couples if they wish, as some have expressed the desire to do - the freedom of religion would actually be expanded, not contracted.

This brings up the issue of religious officials being licensed by the state to perform marriage ceremonies. As an ex-clergyperson, I reflect that it always seemed rather bi-polar to me that a religious clergyperson was licensed by the state to validate marriages. Every religious group has its own criteria for certifying those who can perform wedding ceremonies and attest to their validity. Some religious groups make everyone in them a valid clergyperson. The main religious organizations require a religious education and ceremony such as ordination to certify them as worthy of performing marriages. The state requires that clergypersons be attested to by their religious organizations. When I was in the Lutheran ministry, I was far more liberal in the performing of wedding ceremonies since I considered the validity of the ceremony based on the government's laws. A clergyperson is furthermore only certified to legally perform marriages for people who have a valid marriage license received in the state in which the clergyperson is licensed. I had to periodically refuse to perform ceremonies for those with licenses from Minnesota, Illinois, Iowa, etc. (as I was licensed only by the state of Wisconsin). This is one of the numerous areas where there is a conflict between the separation of church and state.

**A good source of special things to make for your engagement, your wedding, and your first year of marriage is Erica Wilson's Bride's Book, published by Little, Brown & Company, 1989.

Sample Ceremonies can be found at the following Web Sites:

 

http://www.interfaithweddings.com

http://www.dfwx.com

 

OUTLINE     OF     THE    SERVICE

I.           Processional

II.         Welcome:       

Friends and relatives, we are here to share a very important day in the lives of ___________________________ and ___________________________ : Their wedding day.   We are honored to be a part of this day, to witness their vows and welcome them into our human community as husband and wife.

III.        Meditation:

IV.        The Exchange of Vows by ___________________________ and ___________________________ ___________________________ and ___________________________, will you face one another and join your hands together and repeat after me to each other your vows of commitment.

 SAMPLE     VOWS

1.          I, ___________________________/___________________________ take you, ___________________________/___________________________ to be my (husband/wife).   I want to grow old along with you; I want to share the blessings of children and family with you.   Today, before these honored guests and beloved family members, I vow to love you and honor you for a song as we both live.   I vow to respect you, listen to you, and grown with you, through good times and bad times.

2.          I, ___________________________/___________________________, take you ___________________________/___________________________, to be my (husband/wife), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world, and spirituality; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live.

3.          Today, ___________________________/___________________________, I join my life to yours, not merely as your (wife/husband), but as your friend, your lover and your confidant.   Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which your rest, the companion of your life.   With you I will walk my path from this day forward.

4.          I come here today, ___________________________/___________________________, to join my life to yours before our friends and relatives.   In their presence, I pledge to be true to you, to respect you, and to grow with you through the years.   Time may pass, fortune may smile, trials may come; no matter what we may encounter together, I vow here that this love will be my only love.   I will make my home in your heart from this day forward.

5.          As freely as I have been given life, I join my life with yours.   Wherever you go, I will go; whatever you face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my (husband/wife), and will give myself to no other.

6.          ___________________________/___________________________, I begin my life with you today knowing that we have developed a trust and a commitment that is strong enough to support both good times and bad times.   No matter what may come, I pledge to stand by you.   May our love deepen and grow with the years, and may we always share in the changes of life with flexibility and respect for each other.

V.         ___________________________ and ___________________________, you have brought with you a token of your sincerity and determination to keep your vows to one another the wedding rings.

From the beginning of time, the ring has symbolized many kinds of human relationships.   Kings wore them to express their imperial authority; friends exchanged them as expressions of their good will; high school and college graduates wear them as expressions of their school loyalties.   This wedding band, however, has come to its highest significance as a symbol of a marriage relationship.   Wearing it bears witness to your marital fidelity.

1.          (Best man will give ___________________________ =s ring to ___________________________, who will place it on ___________________________ =s left hand, 2 nd finger.)  

___________________________, repeat your selected dedication of your wedding band to ___________________________.

2.          (Maid of Honor will give ___________________________ =s ring to ___________________________, who will place it on ___________________________ =s left hand, 2 nd finger.)

___________________________, repeat your selected dedication of your wedding band to ___________________________.

SAMPLE    TEXT    FOR    EXCHANGE   OF   RINGS

1.          ___________________________/___________________________, the words I say to you now are ones I have waited a lifetime to utter, ones I say in love and in confidence.   I see in you a strong, growing partner, the person before me, no matter what may come our way.   I freely take you as my (husband/wife).   Take this ring as a sign of my commitment to you.

 2.          What have I to give you, ___________________________/___________________________?   A ring, and more than a ring: the promise to take you as my lifetime 's   love from this day forward, to stand by your side, to listen when you speak, to comfort you when you cry, and to join your laughter with my own.   ___________________________/___________________________, receive this ring as a sign of my love and affection.

3.          ___________________________/___________________________, come health, happiness and prosperity, I will stand with you; come illness, trouble, or poverty, I will stand with you.   Receive this ring, ___________________________/___________________________, as a sign of my love and commitment.

 4.          ___________________________/___________________________, I join my life with yours today without hesitation and with an open and trusting heart.   Whatever we may encounter, lets us encounter it together.   Take this ring, and with it my commitment to be the best (husband/wife) I can be.

 5.          I present this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity as your husband/wife, and as I slide it onto your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you, my dear husband/wife, and I ask you to wear it as a reminder of the vows we have taken today.

 6.          ___________________________/___________________________, receive this ring as a seal upon the marriage vows I have spoken and, as you wear it, may it be a reminder of how much I love you, not only on this precious day, but every single day of our life together.

 7.          As a sign of my commitment and the desire of my heart, I give you this ring.   May it always be a reminder that I have chosen you above all other women/men and that, from this day forward, you are my wife/husband.

VI.

THE     ROSE     CEREMONY

In the Rose Ceremony, the Bride and Groom give each other a Rose.   Two roses are all that is necessary.   The Rose Ceremony is placed at the end of the ceremony just before being pronounced husband and wife.

Flowers have been used as a means of communication.   Each Flower had a special meaning.   In the language of flowers, a single red rose always meant "I love you."   The Rose Ceremony gives recognition to the new and most honorable title of "Husband and Wife."

 Through the words of the classic Rose Ceremony, rewritten by the Honorable Mark Ovard explaining the true meaning of the ceremony and in ways that can endure through your married life together this unique and meaningful addition to any marriage ceremony that also inspires your guests too.

 

USED     AFTER   THE   VOWS   ARE   EXCHANGED

 

WORDS OF    THE    ROSE    CEREMONY

Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding ring   B which will always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

 You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman the title of "husband" and "wife."  For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose.   In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing it meant the words "I love you."  So it is appropriate that for your first gift as husband and wife B that gift is a single rose.

 ___________________________ and ___________________________, Please Exchange your first gift as husband and wife.   (Exchange roses!)

In some ways, it seems like you have done nothing at all.   Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose and now your are still holding one small rose.   In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this.   In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday.   But in fact today, just now, you have both given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life one I hope you will always remember the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.

 ___________________________ and ___________________________, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future whether it be a large and elegant home or a small and graceful one   that you both pick one very special location for your roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love.

In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words.  

 It is easiest to hurt those whom we love the most.   It is easiest to be most hurt by those whom we love the most.

 It might be difficult some time to say "I 'm sorry " or "I forgive you "; AI need your or "I am hurting."  If this should happen, if you simply cannot find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

 That rose says the words: "I still love you."

 The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.

 ___________________________ and ___________________________, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.

VII.      PRONOUNCEMENT & KISS

 ___________________________ and ___________________________, we your friends and relative confirm the covenant you have made to each other.   May you bless each other in your marriage, comforting each other when one needs comfort, sharing each other =s joys when one needs someone to share it, and helping each other in all your endeavors throughout your married lives together.   ___________________________ and ___________________________, you have made one another husband and wife by your pronouncement and consecration before this assembly and your commitment before this assembly.  

I present to you ___________________________ and ___________________________ . ___________________________ and ___________________________ you may embrace one another and seal your vows with a kiss.

 VIII.     Recessional

 IX.        Greeting of the assembled guests and relatives

 

Music: "Perhaps Love"

Artist/Band: Denver John
Lyrics for Song: Perhaps Love
Lyrics for Album: Rocky Mountain Christmas

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don`t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don`t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of Pain
Like a fire when it`s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don`t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of Pain
Like a fire when it`s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

"The Rose"

Composed by Amanda McBroom, who has been called". . . the greatest cabaret performer of her generation, an urban poet who writes like an angel and has a voice to match." She first came to the attention of the music public when Bette Midler's version of Amanda's song THE ROSE hit number one all over the world in 1979.

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose.